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Behold, a blog where I post some indredibly random things! I thank MentalZ for the inspiration. You might see things such as my Quote of the Week, Weapon of the Week, and Mini-RPG of the Month. You might also see special features such as "If Sesame Street Was Real", "How to Survive a Dragon Attack", or "The Preferred Ways to Kill Darth Vader".

My Quote of the Week

Every week (or whenever I have time) I will place a quote. Today's quote is...

"That can't be the queen! She's more wrinkled than me mum!"

--A random boy in A Dance with Dragons, by George R. R. Martin

Weapon of the Week

Also ever week (or whenever I have time), I will place a picture and short description of a weapon. Today's weapon is...

The Scissore!

The Scissore was used by a Roman gladiator of the same name. It is a steel encasing around the hand and forearm, with a grip inside and a long razor-looking blade at the tip. This weapon can both prevent hand/arm-removing blows and nearly cut someone in half (with multiple strikes) at the same time, and it was also used in conjunction with the dagger, which could be used as a final killing strike after slicing up the enemy's chest.

Thornclaw versus...

Blackbeard

Thornclaw unsheathes his Zweihander and stares at Blackbeard, who lifts up a loaded musket and pulls down the flintlock. Thornclaw begins to walk a couple paces forward, then starts a trot, and is only 5 feet from his enemy when Blackbeard fires. However, the musket bullet riochetes off of the Zweihander as Thorn swings his blade, well in range. Blackbeard drops his musket and runs backwards, struggling to pull out one of his 6 pistols from his tangled belt. Thornclaw runs back as well and sticks his sword in the dirt, then pulls out a longbow and trains it on Blackbeard, who has finally taken out two pistols. The pirate fires one first as a warning, but Thornclaw abruptly fires his longbow, which knocks the pistol out of Blackbeard's hand and cut his palm. Edward Teache yelps and shakes his hand, then turns his other pistol at Thornclaw and fires. The stoat has already gotten another arrow and jumps to the side, then fires, the arrow sticking in Blackbeard's hat. Teache then puts away his pistol and draws two cutlasses, while Thornclaw puts away his longbow and plucks his Zweihander from the ground. He swings in a wide decapitating movement, but Blackbeard parries with his two blades and stabs one at Thorn's chest, but the sword is turned away by his metal-plated vest. Thorn kicks Blackbeard in the leg and bring his Zweihander down, but the pirate falls backwards as the sword buries itself just an inch from his foot. Blackbeard swipes his left-hand cutlass at Thornclaw's unprotected leg and cuts a little, but Thorn moves his leg aside and swings the Zweihander again, but Blackbeard has gotten up and backed off already. Thorn pulls out a stiletto from his belt and throws it at Blackbeard, who swings his cutlass, knocking the dagger aside. However, he has spent enough time doing that, and Thorn is upon him. Blackbeard drops one of his swords and runs to the side just as Thorn sweeps his blade menacingly, and attempts to pierce the stoat in the back. However, Thorn spins around and smashes the cutlass in half. Blackbeard stares surprisingly at his swordhilt until Thorn punches him on the face with his gauntlet. Blackbeard falls, his hat smashed, but then draws a dagger and swings it at Thorn's foot. Thorn kicks the dagger aside and swings his Zweihander down, but Blackbeard ducks underneath and slided between Thorn's legs. He considers punching upwards, but hesitates as Thorn moves to the side and swings his blade one last time at Blackbeard's neck. However, Edward Teache had dropped to the ground, the Zweihander only slicing a hankful of hair off. While Thorn looks astonished, Teache scrambles for his discarded whole cutlass, but Thorn swings his blade down, lopping off Teache's left foot. Blackbeard yells as he fails to feel his foot, but then falls onto his cutlass, thankfully on the hilt rather than the blade, and swings it at Thorn. Thorn, taken aback, sustains a bruse as the cutlass whacks his jerkin, but fails to cut through. Thornclaw brings his Zweihander up as Blackbeard recovers from his swipe, and looks up to see the 6"3 sword come down on his head. He feels a pain going right from the top of his head down to his chest, then nothing.

Aragorn

If Sesame Street Was Real

In a hospital, Cookie Monster lies on a bed, while Elmo and a doctor sit next to it.

Elmo: So, how did Cookie Monster die?

Doctor: He's been eating nothing but cookies for the past 42 years!

Elmo: Oh...

The Top 20 Preferred Ways to Kill Darth Vader

  1. Tell him he has TWO sons.
  1. Dress up as Luke and get him emotional.
  1. Ask him what he looks like under his armour.
  1. Make sure he's INSIDE the Death Star before blowing it up.
  1. Hit him from behind on the head with a baseball bat.
  1. Run him through with a VERY LONG lightsaber.
  1. Dress up as Darth Vader and challenge him to a duel of twins.
  1. Hire the ghost of Obi-Wan to haunt him for the rest of his life.
  1. Electrocute him.
  1. Flatulence.
  1. Sing the Sesame Street theme song.
  1. Throw him down a recycle bin.
  1. Throw him into Mustafar lava.
  1. Take off his mask.
  1. See if he can cry.
  1. Blow him up with a nuclear bomb inside the Executor.
  1. Tell Emperor Palpatine that Vader is trying to kill him. Then wait.
  1. If the Emperor doesn't believe you, tell Vader that the Emperor is trying to kil him. Then wait.
  1. Hire a surgeon.
  1. Beat him in a podrace and begin jeering and being an overall bad sport.

Did I Read That Right?

These are hilarious signs from REAL LIFE that just weren't written corectly...

In an office...

TOILET OUT OF ORDER...

PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat...

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:

PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store...

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office...

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In another office...

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAIN BOARD

Outside a second-hand shop...

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING: BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.

WHY NOT BRING YOUR SPOUSE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Outside a health food shop window...

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

In a safari park...

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CARS

On a police website...

POLICE: CRACK FOUND IN MAN's BUTTOCKS

Outside a conference room...

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE CENTER ON THE 1st FLOOR

On an anti-immigration poster...

RESPECT ARE COUNTRY

SPEEC ENGLISH

In a farmer's field...

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Outside a repair shop...

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING! (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON DOOR; THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

My Anniversary

Well, April 14 2011 is my first anniversary of owning the Thornclaw Braveheart account! I would like to talk for a moment about this past year. Well, it's been a crazy one, for sure. My first ever RPG was created after I went to Busch Gardens Williamsburg for my birthday, and my last so far has been the Arahaven RPG on the Redwall Wars. I've written a total of 4 different fan fics and haven't finished any of them, I've been banned 3 times (mostly my fault), and let me tell you, I've done things on Wikia that I haven't been proud of. Still, I've kept going on, after three laptop crashes and countless hacking into my account by my mom. I've made over 10 RPGs and have never gotten to the happy ending. I've made a protest blog against romance on the Redwall Wars Wiki, and I've owned two Wikis (only one of which is working). From what I've said, I'm not your average Wikia user. But that's a good thing. I'm proud of it. And as a rabbi I met once said, it's good to love your enemies (haven't done that until recently) because if you do, they won't know what to do with you. So far, that's been working very bloody good! Well, I'd like to wrap this up with something to say: Nobody really has the same belief as another. Everyone perceives things differently. It's a belief, a policy, a religion, a thought of one. Only you can own it. Opinio est nisi unum. Excusare me erroribus meis. Vale!

Dumbo: Appropriate or Not?

Dumbo is a controversial movie, especially since lots of it's themes are not necessarily for kids. Some say that Walt Disney was trying to give a hidden message (since he's commonly known as the Modern-Day Da Vinci), but who knows? First of all, let's start with the beginning. I just want to say that this was the movie that got parents to try and convince their kids that storks dropped from from the sky when the kids are too young to understand where they REALLY came from. Second, you can see obvious discrimination and eugenicism (the belief that certain genetics and therefore certain races are better than others) among the elephants who joke about Dumbo's ears. You see plenty of that later on in the movie, too. Also, has anyone noticed that EVERY laborer building the circus tent is African-American? Obviously this was meant to portray a time period between perhaps the American Civil War and World War I, so racism was, and is, still big. In addition to this is the saddening feeling you get in a movie when a baby animal is seperated from it's mother, apparently for life. TO BE CONTINUED

Mini-RPG of the Month

Okay, during this RPG it's May The Force Be With You! Play as any one Star Wars character and battle each other classic Star Wars style!

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